The Southwest Expo used to be the premier restaurant trade show in this region but this year’s show was merely a shadow of its former self. Every row of the show was pockmarked by empty booths and some of the old standbys took a scaled down approach this year. The saddest of this latter category was the “Glazer’s Alley.” In years past the Glazer’s distributing company would rent a long row with dozens of booths, demonstrating a countless number of spirits that the company represents. That section of the show was always a party. People would show up at the convention center ready to work, and slowly but surely (definitely by lunch time) wind their way over to Glazer’s Alley. This year, not so much. Although the Glazer’s area was certainly a popular one, it was tiny in comparison to previous shows. They also shut down and packed up before the show was even over, which defeats the purpose of happy hour as the show winds down each day. It was a sad sight to say the least.

In the last couple of years the TRA has taken up the practice of grouping all of the liquor and related beverage vendors into an area called “Café 21.” Café 21 is one of those trade-show attempts at making something cool out of something that is by its nature uncool, as in, anything related to a tradeshow. (I should note an exception to this rule, and that is Tales of the Cocktail, which is at once a tradeshow and cool). I want to know who comes up with this kind of crap. Who approached the Expo organizers and said, "Let's put all of the bar products in one area and call it 'Cafe 21!'" It is some of the dumbest shit I have ever seen. Cafe 21 was a sad sight to see this year, with so many empty booths that you had plenty of room to test drive your Cruzer Cooler.

Given the manifold disappointments of this year’s Café 21, there were a handful of highlights. One is the Beyond7 firm’s fabulous treatments of plexiglass, bubble water, and colored lights. As we walked by the display of illuminated plastic dancefloors and bubble columns, the girl asked us if we wanted a flyer. I explained that we did not have an establishment and that the flyer would therefore be wasted, she said, “Oh, that’s okay, we do residential too!” She had me at that. I started thinking of all of the places I could employ this technology—breakfast bar, bathrooms, obviously. But also I could take out the decorative ironwork column off my front porch and replace it with a beautiful Plexiglas variety with bubbly water that lights up at night. I then wondered—could they do fish? That would be very special, and I think a real treasure for the neighborhood.

One of the usual highlights of the Café 21 area is seeing all of the stupid ass new products that are coming on to the market. Last year there was an endless supply of Budweiser “Chelada” tallboys, which could be found on every horizontal surface and in every trashcan. And unlike most of the other booze products, these were tossed out without being finished. You know a product is bad when you can’t give it away in an exhibit hall full of industry trash (like myself).

Last year I found many full cans of Chelada in the trash--where it belongs

Unfortunately this year I didn’t get to try anything as offensive as Chelada. The only thing I saw that was even close was Peace Frog Margarita Wine Cocktail. Alas, the booth was un-staffed and so there was no one there to offer me a taste. The small print on the bottle reads, "Agave wine and other than standard orange wine with natural flavor." Huh? What is standard orange wine? The only orange wine I can think of is MD 20/20. One thing the producers of this product want you to know is that it is VERY authentic. How can you tell? Because the label around the neck of the bottle says "Keeping it Real."

A note to the producers of Peace Frog: I would like to propose an even more clever and authentic catch phrase for the next redesign of your package. "Peace Frog--a Ribbiting experience!"

I stopped off at Beaver’s BBQ which is my opinion has the best bar in Texas. With all due respect to the local Austin boys and girls who are fighting the good fight behind the bar, there is no place (yet) in Austin that compares to Beavers. Bobby Huegel is the mixmaster and Kevin is his inspired sidekick. The bar has an incredible selection of spirits, bitters, and housemade syrups and other potions. These boys take craft mixology very seriously, and have a very reputable blog (as opposed to, say, this one) where you can read about their adventures. But the best way to experience their energy and creativity is to sit a spell at the bar and let the boys work their magic. I did so twice this week. I ordered a handful of different cocktails, and here are the highlights:

The Abyss—made with aged rum, and Elysium, a black Muscat dessert wine from Andrew Quaddy. This drink was made during a visit by the folks from Quaddy Vineyards, who hosted an event at Beavers. There were a number of other cocktails but this one was my favorite.

Following the lead of Jamie Boudreau, the boys have been flaming Angostura bitters into a glass with a sprig of Rosemary, and then pouring different cocktails in. I tried a Last Word served over crushed ice in a snifter that had been seasoned according to the Boudreau method for the Rubicon. Very interesting (albeit labor intensive and perhaps wasteful to the bitters)

I took a trip to the Spec’s Megaplex in Downtown Houston. There are dozens of Spec’s stores in Texas, and several in Austin, but none is as complete as the one on Smith St. I picked up a couple of bottles that I had not seen in the stores in Austin, but nothing too exciting (My heart skipped a beat when I saw a shelf tag for Sazerac Thomas Handy Rye, but there were no bottles behind it). I picked up a bottle of Hirsh “Canadian Rye” which I have mixed feelings about. Bobby has tried it and disavowed it. He also said that unlike American ryes, the Canadian alternative is not regulated.

I will leave you with this image of one of my favorite phenomena of the trade show, the bloated schnorrers who tote around a dozen shopping bags full of swag and other useless crap. They shamelessly grab everything that is not chained down, and are not above asking "Is this free?" Some of them even drag wagons and dollies to maximize their haul of free crap. It is in their spirit that I offer this tribute: