Today the Statesman's XLENT entertainment supplement features the You (heart) Austin list of everybody's favorite things about Austin. Has anybody else noticed the proliferation of "best of" polls? I can't even keep track of them anymore. There's so many that I barely have time to give my professional analysis of why my choices are better than everybody else's.
But I'm going to give it my best shot...
The good news is that Paula's Texas Orange was voted favorite Locally Produced beer, liquor, or wine. I think we can all agree on that.
I agree that best Breakfast Taco (TacoDeli), Wings (Pluckers), Seafood (Quality), and Annoying Pseudo-celeb (tied: Leslie and Mayor Wynn) have all been rightly annointed.
Leslie Cochran, a living, breathing Greetings From Austin billboard
Best Gay Bar went to Chain Drive. If you haven't been, the Chain Drive is one of those places where mustachioed men in leather and Levi's walk around with beer guts and chest hair--basically the opposite of any gay bar downtown where the plucked eyebrow is the norm)
But here is the troubling news about today's news:
Place to Drink Alone--Driskill Bar. NO! That is the best place to drink with douchebags and douchettes who just got too drunk at their friend's wedding upstairs. The place to drink alone is at home!
Best Bartenders--Lucky Lounge. I don't think so. Their bartender entered a drink called the Sorority Bubble Bath into the Cocktail World Cup, and was rightly defeated.
Cocktails--Trudy's. Trudy's has cocktails? I thought Trudy's had so-so Margaritas and disgruntled servers.
Best Margarita--Trudy's. (see above)
Strongest Drinks--Stephen F's. This is what is wrong with drinking culture in Austin--it is all about quantity and not about freshness or quality. It's ridiculous for the paper to have a category like this, that says, basically, "Best drink that is imbalanced by a heavy pour and serves only as an alcohol delivery vehicle for obnoxious wedding goers and conventioneers."
Best Coffeehouse--Kick Butt Coffee? Even the name sucks (they have a kung fu theme). Cafe Medici and JP's Java are the only true purist coffee houses in town.
Best Queso; Best Breakfast--Kerbey Lane. I am so tired of Kerbey Lame. They can suck it. Torchy's has the best queso in town. Enoteca Vespaio has the best breakfast.
Best Cheap Date--Alamo Drafthouse. The Drafthouse is great, but it's been a long time since it was cheap! I always spend $60 in there. On myself. Ken's Donuts--now that is a cheap date.
Comments (5)
What is it with Kerbey Lane and Austonians? EVERY-TIME I'm in Austin visiting friends its Kerbey Lane this and Kerbey Lane that. I just want to get them to step back and admit that A)The coffee does suck, B)The lines suck, C) Of course your scrambled egg mexican thing is going to taste ok, they poured queso all over it. Now can we pleeease go somewhere else?
Posted by Morgan | August 14, 2008 11:12 AM
Posted on August 14, 2008 11:12
Can I get a WITNESS!? This is music to my ears, Morgan. Dis Kerbey Lame in Austin and people look at you like you just said the f-word in front of your grandma.
I can't stand that place and have never understood the magical spell that it holds over the city.
PS It's Austinite...not Austonian. The Austonian is the condo tower they're building downtown, and the name makes no sense to me. Shouldn't it be AusTINian. HousTON has HousTONians, BosTON has BosTONians...AusTIN should not have the AusTONian. (in my humble opinion)
Posted by Tex | August 14, 2008 11:50 AM
Posted on August 14, 2008 11:50
You're right about the BS in the Best Of issue, but you gotta take these lists with a grain of salt. Speaking of which (and salivating at the pictures of margs on your blog) I gotta agree with y'all about Paula's Texas Orange, what a citrus elixir that stuff is! It not only makes a very adult margarita, but at half the price of Cointreau, it's also an economic tonic in these strange and troubled times. Kudos to Paula and her Texas Orange potion!
Posted by keith evans | August 14, 2008 3:29 PM
Posted on August 14, 2008 15:29
Yeah, I didn't know how to refer to people from Austin. I opted not to use the word 'freaks'. I kinda like Austinian though.
Posted by Morgan | August 14, 2008 3:50 PM
Posted on August 14, 2008 15:50
Paula...what a cool chick. She will sponsor any event in town if you just call her. Some people, who shall not be named, have much lamer products and have a fraction of the generosity. The product is great. I recommend (as does Paula) keeping a bottle of PTL in the fridge just in case you need a chilled shot after dinner, before bed, before leaving for the office, you know, whenever the mood strikes you.
Austinians... that sounds much nobler than Austinites. There's something about the 'ites' suffix that sounds somehow infectious, like mites, or bites. I think we should campaign for Austinian.
Posted by Tex | August 14, 2008 8:32 PM
Posted on August 14, 2008 20:32