Sometimes I get the impression that the press release writers of America's PR firms think that every cocktail is the Ramos Gin Fizz. Not because they actually know what a Ramos Gin Fizz is, but because they think that every cocktail is so difficult and laborious to make that every new convenience product that hits the market brings salvation akin to the liberation of 19th century house wives by the automatic clothes washing machine.

I noticed during this last holiday shopping season that the Caipirinha is apparently so taxing on the home bartender that a Caipirinha Mix is in order. Is it really that much easier to bust out the Caipirinha Mix than to squish a lime in the bottom of a glass with some sugar? Are we really that lame? According to this gushing review by Robert Plotkin, this product rocks and I am the Grinch Who Stole Cocktail. I haven't tried the product yet so perhaps I shouldn't be commenting on it. But there is something disingenuous when spirits marketers say things like this, in a press release about this product: "The combination of Finest Call Caipirinha mix and Cachaça will create an authentic Caipirinha with no muddling, squeezing or hassle." My response: NO, it doesn't. The authentic version of the cocktail implies/requires/necessitates the muddling and squeezing. That's what is authentic about it.

Today I discovered that I have been too generous when entertaining guests at my house. For some foolish reason, I have been under the impression that when hosting company, it was imperative to serve them a beverage of the type and quality that I would serve myself. Perhaps, I should go all out and serve something even fancier, to really show them the love at Tipsy Manor. But I was misguided. That pile of spent fruit carcasses that we take to the compost pile after a party? A messy, unnecessary waste. The bottles of premium spirits that fill the recycle bin? Totally superfluous.

Mmm...red

With the release of new Bacardi Raspberry Mojito, all you have to do is screw off the top. That muddler, you might as well throw it in the fireplace. "Offering a real flavored mojito taste in a ready-to-serve package," says the press release, Bacardi Raspberry Mojito "can be enjoyed anywhere, making entertaining an ease." I feel like they should have put an exclamation point on this sentence. Amen, brothers and sisters! Entertaining is an ease! (Though not as E-Z as this toxic treasure). This begs the question--should entertaining be an ease? At what point does it cease to be special when you entertain with such ease? I was at a recent cocktail party where the guests were joking that the hosts, most likely, procured the spread of appetizers from the nearby Whole Foods, discarding the packages down the trash chute before guests arrived. There is nothing necessarily wrong with this. But I think it goes without saying that guests appreciate things made from scratch; that when you're hosting company is the time go a little further than you usually would. If you usually drink swill behind closed doors, bust out the good stuff for your guests. That's what really irks me about all of these mixes; they tout the entertaining-with-ease virtues of a product that completely goes against my values of hospitality. They vilify the process of making cocktails, when it is the process--the love, the care, the skill, the art--that makes the cocktail so special. The process is not the enemy. The enemy is all of these "convenience" products that are essentially the frozen-t.v.-dinners of drink.

“After the original mint and lime mojito, the raspberry mojito is one of the most popular mojitos requested at bars and nightclubs, so offering a convenient, ready-to-serve raspberry mojito for home entertaining was a natural extension for the brand.” Thanks, Bacardi, but no thanks. When people come to my house, I'm going to ease myself out to the garden and pick some mint. Then I'm going to ease my happy ass back in to the kitchen and pull out the raspberries, some lime, and some Flor de Caña.

Entertain this--the Tipsy Texan Raspberry Mojito. Muddling, squeezing, and hassle required.