Just saying you're a Texan FOR gun control is likely to get you shot in Texas, or at least barred from running for political office, even if you mean it sarcastically. Far from venturing into the political wasteland of the firearms gun control debate, what we're promoting is the SODA GUN ban, which certain of us think should be enacted immediately. No more juices or sodas extracted from a bag-in-a-box in a faraway storeroom or basement. What we're advocating is the revolutionary concept of fresh-squeezed juices and natural mixers--just like our boozehound distant ancestors drank. Farm to table? That was my grandma's style. Garden-to-glass? Fill 'er up!

The Austin chapter of the United States Bartenders Guild is proud to offer, in no official USBG-related capacity, the 2009 Tales of the Cocktail Texas Expedition T-Shirt featuring this year's motto: Texans For Gun Control, featuring the Wünder Bar soda gun surrounded by the universal symbol for NO. Please contact me at Tex (at sign) this url if you would like to pre-order your shirt or send me some hateful legal mail because I've violated your trademark or offended your sensibilities.