Last week I had the incredible good fortune of coming upon a luxurious ceramic snail from the Spanish manufacturer Hispania. Cost was 9.95 so I passed, preferring my thrift store treasures to come in at the $.59-$.99 price range. But then I had passers remorse so I went back and made the purchase. I am convinced that this is an object of fine art, although Joe has deemed it to be merely a tchotchke (actually I called it a tchotchke, Joe is catholic so he called it a piece of junk).

More than this being a piece of ceramic heaven, I actually became convinced when I saw it on the thrift store shelf that it was a lost treasure of our Tiki past. Although I can find no citations in any of the literature on this subject, I am sticking to my guns here, and will make up the story if I have to.

The evolution of this cocktail's name shall remain obscured by the conditions of this particular evening, mainly because I can't remember the details after getting totally Snailed on this concoction. According to my notes:

Iron & Spite
8 oz Flor De Caña 4 yr Gold Rum
4 oz Daron Calvados
2 oz Cruzan Blackstrap
2 oz St George Aqua Perfecta Pear Liqueur
2 oz Cachaca
2 oz Domaine de Canton
2 oz Balcones Rumble
1.75 oz Aperol
.5 oz Hum
2 oz Simple syrup
4 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice
2 oz fresh-squeezed lemon juice
6-8 oz Bitter Truth Jerry Thomas's Own Decanter Bitters
Build ingredients in a large mixing cup and transfer to a porcelain snail filled with big ice, topped with crushed ice. Serve with colorful straws.